Time to update I suppose.. not that anyone reads this anymore. I guess that I just use this bit of space to vent when I need to. So Here I go. I'm not really venting, but just wanting to put into words how things are going.

     I am kinda sorta dating this really kool guy. I mean he says that he likes me and that he would rather spend time with me than anybody else, and I guess that it's true in a way. We have completely different schedules and so it is hard to see each other sometimes. and there is also this tiny inconvenient fact: He says that he doesn't know if he wants to have a "romantic" relationship with me. He is afraid that it might mess up our friendship if something were to happen. Well to be perfectly honest, I will tell you something: If we do not end up in a "romantic" relationship sometime soon, I am going to be very upset and that will probably have a very detrimental effect on our friendship as it is. We already go out on dates, he calls me sweetheart, baby, ect.. and tells me that I make him happy. So maybe I'm just old fashioned but you don't say those things to just friends. I mean the guys is really nice (to me) very funny, he makes me laugh all the time. He has his own place, own car, not to mention that he has a pretty nice paying job. Oh and he is a freak like me. I really like him. He is the first guy that I have felt this way about in a long time. I would really like to not be disappointed again by the male sex. Probably not going to happen... but hey it is worth a try.

     So yeah the rest of my life is pretty much as screwed up as that is. just with a twist on who what when and where... lol I'm broke, Hate my job, My really close friend is in Love with me and I don't know what to do about it. Love him to death but he is just way too sweet for me... I cant really explain it but He just isn't right for me... Makes me sad though, to see him so unhappy... (he doesn't know about all that is going on with the person mentioned above... if he did he would be very upset and be all jealous and stuff...) So yeah. ummm what else? Lets see, Christmas is coming up, not feeling that much in a holiday spirit. Kinda depressing really, I usually enjoy this time of year. My car is being weird, something happened to the exhaust and now it sounds all loud and stuff... *sigh* Oh well So much for not venting... LOL  Later everyone!

Currently Listening Emotive By A Perfect Circle The hollow see related

Oh here is the deal.... I am single, living alone, going to college, and working full time at Mc Hell.... I think that I got the short end of the stick don't you?

Soul Mates?

      So what are soul mates? Do you believe in them? AND how do you go about finding yours? Ok so here I go in my attempt to try to do this long fought over ideal...

     Soul Mates: In the Dictionary it reads as follows: Person ideally suited to another. Ok so a soul mate is someone that is perfect for you. Someone that understands and just plain "gets" you. Someone that doesnt think that you are completly crazy for doing all the weird crazy things that make you who you are. So a soul mate doesnt have to be a member of the opposite sex (or the same sex if your into that) but just someone that understands who you are and lets you be you without judging you for it. But it could also mean "your one true love" as well... So bear with me.

     Do you believe in soul mates? Do you think that there is just one person out there that can get you better than anyone else? Well I do. I think that there are going to be people in your life that you will have as friends and then there are those rare few that transcend what friendship means. thoes friends that stay up with you until 4 in the morning running around town doing all that crazy stuff that could get you arrested.... lol They are there for you whenever, whatever, wherever, doesnt matter. But there is also the question of wether or not that there is just one person for you to love above anyone else. The one person that will make you the most happy. So is there just one person that is meant to be with you? I dont honestly know, How horrible would it be to have missed that one and only person? Are we doomed to live a "half life" without that one person? How do we know who they are and if they are really out there? I cant give you these answers, I think that it will be up to us to figure it out for ourselves, which leads us  to the next question...

     How do you find your soul mate? Who knows? Some look to God.. Some look to another form of religion. And there are thoes that just wait around and see what happens. So which way works? Again who knows? So My theroy is... Yes there might be that special someone out there just waiting for you. And the only way to find him or her is to go out and look for them. If you are waiting on God to help you... well you have to get out there and just give God a little help. But i think that alot of it is just trying to find happiness, and finding that person that can make you happy. So wether or not you believe that there is only one special person out there for you, at least you can have fun looking right? And if fortune should smile and you find that "one" then all the better. So good luck and have fun!!!

Currently Listening Inhuman Rampage By Dragonforce see related